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Evil Takes a Holiday: Osama’s Obit


The top of the United State’s Ten Most Wanted List must be changed as its No. 1 priority was shot dead yesterday thanks to an ultra secret military operation near the capital city of Pakistan. Osama Bin Laden was perhaps the most popular face of evil since Hitler, who was found after his suicide (which incidentally was 66 years ago on May 1), yet few people knew the man.
On a rare rainy day in Riyadh Saudi Arabia, the 10th wife of obscenely rich businessman Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, gave birth to her first and only son. He was one of dozens of sons of bin Laden, a wealthy investor and immigrant to the Muslim Holy country from Yemen, and as such was not close to his father who had 22 wives. Even though he hardly knew his father, just 10 years after he was born his father died in a plane crash because of a mistake made by an American pilot. His oldest half-brother was also killed in a plane crash, this time in San Antonio Texas. Virtually raised in isolation, Osama was moody, often prone to writing violent poetry. As he grew older and attended universities the econ major began spending most of his time studying the Muslim holy book, the Quran and developing a zeal for Islam.
His radicalization grew as he left academia for a stint among the Mujahideen in Afghanistan who were fighting the evil Russians over their overly religious homeland. It was here that Osama began his first foray into coalescing far-flung Islamic extremists all over the world to join their brothers in arm, using his family’s wealth to funnel weapons, buy plane tickets for fighters and flood Afghanistan with a foreign fighting force that helped topple one of the largest military forces in the world. His poetry became more violent and his views became more militant. He spoke out against democracy, smoking, drinking, homosexual, fornication and of course anything American. During this time the university scholar and poet began wearing military fatigues and carrying an AK-47. He left the Mujahideen faction because it wasn’t Islamic enough and formed his own group Al Qaeda.
With Al Qaeda formed in 1988, Osama turned his rage towards the United States, after American military troops were allowed to set up in Saudi Arabia to protect them from a threat by Iraq. Having the infidel so close to the Holy city Mecca didn’t sit well with Osama and the jihad on the West was born. As early as 1990, a raid on an Al Qaeda-associated house in New Jersey uncovered sketches and plans to blow up skyscrapers in New York. Osama began putting his money where his hate was by funding jihads with his yearly family allowance of $7 million. But he was soon expelled from Saudi Arabia for speaking too harshly against the kingdom and fled to Sudan. His speeches grew more violent and filled with vitriol and he was expelled from Sudan and ended up back in Afghanistan where his war on the West began in earnest.
By 1992 he had developed the philosophy that no civilians were innocent, allowing for the killing of those associated with the enemy. He began bombing hotels and in 1998 the CIA Director told officials he thought Al Qaeda was going to kill people “using airplanes.”
Seeing the Americans as “paper tigers,” and telling journalists “American’s were easy targets,” by 1998 Osama’s group began attacking Americans directly. Like Hitler explaining his take over of the world in his memoir “Mein Kempf,” Osama made passionate speeches about his declared jihad against the Americans, giving cryptic and deadly clues about his future actions. First were the American embassy bombings in Tanzania and Kenya, in 1998, followed by the bombings on the U.S.S. Cole in 2000, just 11 months before airplanes flew into the twin towers in Manhattan killing more than 3,000 people.
Osama will forever be linked to the largest terrorist attack on U.S. soil which he masterminded and apparently spent more than a decade planning. After 9/11 Osama supposedly escaped to the caves of Afghanistan and the U.S. went to war in Iraq.
Years later, with the U.S. embroiled in war in three Islamic countries – Egypt, Iraq and Afghanistan – President Obama ordered a Navy Seal team to wrap up a loose end – and Osama was killed.

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