In the act of perusing the Web as I do I came across this blog post: “How to Talk to a Narcissist.”
The topic intrigued me because I’ve often wondered if I was a narcissist. I don’t know why I wondered that but the thought jumped into my head. I wonder if wondering whether you are a narcissist or not is a trait of narcissism? Let’s roll out the evidence:
- I tend to have a high opinion of myself.
- I tend to be a bit overbearing in conversations – hogging all the air time.
- I thrive on recognition.
These three seem to point me down the path of narcissism. But then I got to thinking … would a narcissist even admit that his or her characteristics was in some way unattractive. Would an narcissist see himself as a narcissist? Would she be queasy about that fact? After reading Bill Snow’s succinct and very wonderful article on communicating with narcissist I don’t think a narcissist would care they were a narcissist. So that’s a big plus in my favor. So I looked at it again began to investigate further. According to Snow’s article a narcissist:
- Shows little or no empathy or concern for the problems, difficulties or interests of other people. (This reminds me of a person who speaks to me daily about arcane things like my daily commute. It’s so annoying because I have a feeling the person couldn’t care less how my commute was, as if I said I was hijacked by a band of meth-dealing humanoids who stashed me away on their alien mother ship for three days of physical experiments and then turned back time so that I didn’t miss my daily commute the person would just move on and say, “That’s nice.”
- Has an over-inflated opinion of him or herself. (Me, I’m good but I’ve met better so I’m humbled.)
- Feel entitled to favorable treatment. (I am verbal about what I want but if I don’t get it I tend to flow like water while I plan my escape route. I’ve learned that over the years.)
After examining the traits of a narcissist I’ve determined that though I’m self-centered I am not a narcissist. Mostly because I’ve spent my life making a living talking to other people. I think I would find that incredibly boring if I were a narcissist.
Self-examination is wonderful. I’d rather do it than pay someone else so it’s a bonus. But I am going to keep watch on myself to ensure that I don’t get an overinflated ego. Because, quite frankly, my life is infinitesimal compared to the huge sacrifice and love shown by my parents or my God.